Thursday, September 24, 2009

Coyote Ugly!?

Well people I must be on a roll this month, let me tell you about my newest adventure....a friend of mine just opened a new restaurant/bar. I told him that I'd love to help out, we can all use some extra cash, so he says "sure, I got a great idea why don't you bartend!" Now I've never tended bar in my entire life but hey I thought this could be fun so I agreed. He told his bar manager and the manager agreed to give me some on the job training. Now I'm excited, we've all seen the movie Coyote Ugly, I couldn't wait to go home and get my bartendin outfit ready, which included some sassy black heels! Well let me tell you about this "Coyote Ugly" night people! I got there and figured I'd be cutting lemons and filling the olive bin, WRONG I was learning the correct amount of alcohol to pour, how to use the bar computer system, make long island iced teas and more! "Wait a minute?!!, Did I just unknowingly sign up for a real job??!!!!! What was I thinking! But now it was too late, I was working with another bartender and she was awesome, she told me how to make things and taught me a lot and then, that's when it happened.....customers started pouring in and flocked to the bar for drinks, I was frozen and people started calling to get my attention and place drink orders, I stared getting frazzled! I was becoming undone!!! So what did I do? Yup, I went "Dawnie style", I broke out into a rendition of "On the good ship lollypop" and then I threw myself onto the floor and did the worm, stood up and recited poetry and for the finale I put up my easel and started painting peoples portraits,(thank God I remembered to bring that bag of props!) "Ta Da!!!!" But there was no applause! I thought for sure if I did the "Dawny show" they would forget all about ordering drinks! I didn't know what went wrong my parents always loved that show! I decided to buckle down and try and help this other bar tender, I was pouring beer and wine and when I got drink order I didn't know she would call out, (discreetly, thank goodness) what was in it so I could make it. Now I was extremely busy but had the audacity to grab my phone and text Donna, Tricia and April a one lined text "Coyote ugly SOS, man down!" And you know my girls shot me back words of encouragement, including "Get out of there!" And "Did you send that package to Whole Foods?", and the ever popular, "Do you want me to come get you?!" You guys know I'm just kidding, they were very supportive as usual! My feet were killing me, what possessed me to put on heels? When I looked down I realized that somewhere during my show I must have put my shoes back on the wrong feet, well that’s what it felt like! After about 3 hours I was kind of, yes I repeat, kind of holding my own! People would call out a drink order and slowly, I began to get it. I put my hand up like Larry Fishburne in the Matrix and motioned for them to give me more, I was slowly dodging bullets, like Neo, I was becoming...THE ONE!!! Okay, okay I wasn't that good but I was feelin good. At the end of the night we counted our tips and we did a couple of hundred dollars each!!!! I have been bitten by the bar bug! So if you come in and see me at the bar, sit down and wait for the next "Dawny Show", It's usually every 10 minutes or when an unknown drink order is thrown my way!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

My Jan Brady Moment……(or week)

Well of course I must share my most silly moments with my Pooka family!
One day last weekend I had nothing to do so I decided to have a “Me day”, (you know sit in the park, playing sappy songs, while looking at the sky dramatically). I sat at the computer for about 20 minutes and downloaded “Me day” songs for my ipod and planned to take a blanket and go to the park. I was dressed, had eaten, pretended to clean my apt. and had my bag on my shoulder and just as I disconnected my ipod the screen went black, now for those of you who know me, I love my music! My ipod had broken previously and when I took it to the apple store they declared my ipod officially dead but, whatever they did that day resuscitated it. I knew I was living on borrowed ipod time. This was my “Me day” how could my ipod give up on this day when I needed it most!!! I tried everything and nothing worked, black screen, ipod…………gone. So this is when I flew into my Jan Brady moment(for those of you who don’t know Jan Brady was the dramatic middle child from the Brady Bunch!) I threw, yup threw my ipod at the wall and flung myself on my bed! "How could this happen to me?! I need to get to the park and stare at the sky!!!" I thought. Now, you have to give me credit for realizing how dramatic and extra corny this was, people are starving in Africa, but I’ve got no music!!! I preceded to cry, yes, I actually cried in frustration and then......I, fell asleep!(sleep must be like a magic potion for me if you read my "Always the Kid" post) I woke up about 4 hours later and still mad went back to sleep! I slept the entire day, what kind of fool was I, LOL!!! I got up later and made myself some dinner and went to bed for real. The next morning I woke up and decided to check out some new ipods, no buying, cause it wasn't in my budget. I went to Best Buy just to see what Ipods they had. I was so happy that I found the ipod shuffle and only $80 bucks so I got it! I got home and loaded all of my songs before I realized it had no screen! I was so impressed with the tiny size I didn’t realize that I couldn't see the songs and had to scroll through all of my hundreds of songs one by one! I took a deep breath and talked myself down from my Jan Brady ledge! So the next morning went back to best buy and found my sales guy and explained why I didn’t want it. After laying out another $90(not in my budget) I upgraded to the ipodnano, which I loved. I ran home put all my songs on but it was raining so I couldn’t go to the park and have my rescheduled “Me day”. That night I got an email from the apple website talking about the launch THAT NEXT DAY of the new ipod nano with the video camera!!! Are you kidding me I just got this one!!!! So what did I do in the morning, yup? Marched right back to best buy AGAIN and demanded a replacement for the ipod I just bought the day before. This was my 3rd ipod in 3 days! "Okay, Miss Fitch", the sales lady said and I quickly corrected her, "No, I’m Jan Brady!". They gave me my 3rd new ipod but I needed some accessories, that i paid another $80 for! So now people I think I’ve spent about $1000 for my ipod and my peace of mind(the little I have left) I just had to share this story of dramatic Jan Bradyism for me, the park I go for "ME DAY" with my new ipod nano with the video camera so i can record myself staring at the sky!!!(5 days later!)